‘‘Twas 4 days before Christmas, when all through the house
All the creatures were bustling, yes, even the spouse!
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were antsy and tossed in their beds
because visions of photo-shoots terrorized their heads;
And mamma with her camera, and I with my smartscreen
Were struggling with settings to try to capture the scene.
When out of my email there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my inbox to see what was the matter.
Away to HowToPhotographYourLife sale page I flew like a FLASH
Tore open this great offer and threw up JUST HALF cash! 🙂
To learn to photograph the moon on the new-fallen snow,
Or the lustre of summer sun with the kiddies below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature video with a talking head I could hear.,
A tall, bald photography teacher so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his courses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, BASIC now, GOING MANUAL now PORTRAITS & LIGHTING
On, PHOTO EDITING! on, SMARTPHONE, self-study, interactive, how exciting!
In the shade of the porch! in the light of the hall!
Now click away! click away! click away all!”
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
To confusion and blurry photos amateurs can now say goodbye;
So on to sign up for his courses they flew
With a group of fellow photo-moms, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the screen
The brilliance and ease of each photo tip so keen.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Into the comfort of my own home St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in khaki, from his head to his foot,
And his camera was all tarnished with smudges and soot;
A bundle of photo tutorials he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the 5 o-clock shadow on his chin was almost white as the snow;
The strap of a camera he held tight in his teeth,
And the knowledge, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had an oblong face and a flat and tight belly
That never expanded from all the peanut butter and jelly!
He was warm and informative, a right jolly old photography elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke funny words, but went straight to his work,
Filled me with knowledge and confidence, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, back to the internet he rose;
He sprang to his website, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he finished teaching his class—
“Happy Photography to all, I won’t stop till you all pass!”
